Apology matters! "I'm sorry"

The words “I’m sorry” may be simple to type, but can be some of the hardest to say out loud. When we are in the wrong, some of us may find it difficult to apologize. It may be because we don’t think we’re at fault despite what others say. If not, we may think to say sorry for our mistakes makes room for further accusations and conflicts. For some of us, saying sorry feels like admitting we’re inadequate. 

It seems that some people experience an apology as a sign of weakness. Interestingly, when asked if they view it that way when the apology comes from another, they do not see it as a weakness at all, but rather the “right” or “responsible” thing to do. Remarkably, some will say it is a sign of strength or maturity when the apology is offered by the other person, but still feel that it is an unacceptable admission of defeat—or weakness—when the apology is theirs to give to someone else.

Whatever the reason, I think we can all agree that most of us hold our tongues when we find ourselves in situations that require a simple “I’m sorry”. Yet, a well-delivered, sincere ‘sorry’ will generally avoid all of these issues. 

I think we’ve reached a day and age where showing emotional vulnerability can be viewed as a positive rather than a negative quality. As we move forward in this time of self-knowledge and self-discovery, it’s vital to acquire the ability to recognize our own mistakes. Nobody is perfect, and we all will do something to hurt another person at some point in our lives. The difference, however, lies acknowledging that we have done something wrong.

I believe there are several misuses of the words “I’m sorry,” which on the surface sound like an apology, but may actually be disguising other feelings. For example, the person who apologizes routinely and reflexively when no real offense has occurred, because they believe that they have burdened someone, which is a feeling they have difficulty tolerating. Frequently heard examples of this are “I’m sorry, but I need to do that,” or, “Sorry, do you know what the situation is?”

Sincere apologies are for those that make them, not for those to whom they are made. This is where humility comes in. Can we look at ourselves in the mirror and say that it was at least partly our fault? Can we take that responsibility?

When we find ourselves having to apologize, we naturally start thinking about the actions that led to that moment. As we spend time reflecting on how we have negatively affected other people, we begin to realize our mistakes. Once we truly understand where we went wrong, the chances of us repeating our mistakes in the future become less.

Sometimes people don’t even realize the hurt they are creating around them by failing to take responsibility for their actions. Maybe it’s you, maybe it’s someone you know, but everyone knows someone who has suffered from this at some time. 

Be empathic, let the offended person know that you understand and appreciate the impact of your wrongdoing on them.

When we owe someone an apology, it impacts us physically and mentally. We toss and turn in bed at night, may experience a sinking feeling in our chests and even eat or drink more than we should. Saying the words “I’m sorry” can lighten the baggage of guilt we carry around.

Apologizing does not always mean you are wrong and someone else is right. It just means you value your relationship more than your ego.

Be specific in your apology so that you are directly acknowledging what you did wrong and not generalizing or being vague.

An apology cannot undo what has been done, but it can help ease the pain and tension of the aftermath. It gives hope for rebuilding, and puts value on the relationship rather than the individual’s pride. 

Some of the cute ways to say sorry -

• Bake an I'm sorry cake! If this person in your life doesn't like cake, make cookies, cupcakes, or any other delicious treat! If you're super talented you can even write "I'm sorry" in frosting!

• Use your bad poetic skills to write down a silly as ever poem for the person you want to apologize for. The worse the poem, the better!

• A creative way to say I'm sorry is to arrange to deliver balloons at your loved one’s home with "I’m sorry I am such a mess" written on it!

• Get "I’m sorry" T-shirt and wear it around them all day long. It's worth the embarrassment. 

• This method will definitely involve lots and lots of research. Write down "I’m sorry" in so many languages until it forms a long list. Roll up the paper, make extra copies of it, distribute it everywhere and make it visible for them!

• If you fought with someone who lives with you at home, for example your husband or your sister, put together their favorite outfit, leave it on bed with a little invitation to the movies or a special restaurant!

• Sure it's childish, but it's really cute! Whether or not you're a good artist this can be super cute. Remember when you were little and you used to draw pictures or make handmade cards? Who says that this has to stop! 

• This is something that I've taken to using every so often when I know I've messed up. When your significant other is not expecting it and is still grumpy, just attack them with cuddles! 

• If it's your significant other that you need to apologize to, playfully attack them until they forgive you.